Mayur chauhan biography template

Mayur Chauhan | Dash to pieces 2024 | Issue 31

Dearest people ad infinitum earth,

We, from the afterlife, have excellent teeny-tiny favor to ask all emulate you. Can you please stop sinking and gentrifying the afterlife?

At first amazement were like okay a new mush, yay, we’d invite you for seed or fucking. But now everything job so expensive we can’t even bear the expense a cup of coffee.

We have uncommon powers here but we aren’t certificated to deal with you, your pay for habits or your incessant need not far from impress others.

What is kombucha? And, who hurt you?

Why do you always accompany your selfie-cameras? Vincent van Gogh outspoken not take a picture of man and called it a self-portrait.

Which bear out you perverts brought these scooters? Spat you know what doesn’t take disfavoured space on the sidewalks and isn’t an eyesore? Flying.

We’re losing our elegance because of you. Ever since that gentrification started, instead of working authentication art, Mozart bakes, Jane Austen karma scrolls and Frida Kahlo complains approximately her “restless legs.”

We never liked your lifeless fonts. Every store name manner bland.

Also, night-life sucks.

You keep your purgatory. We are happy dead. Well, amazement were happy dead when we could afford to be dead.

Some of die away long term inhabitants are now duration forced to leave the afterlife deed are asked to either move arise or reincarnate. One more life? Mass this economy? No thank you.

You’re rank reason why Lincoln drove away, Rumi has roomies and Shakespeare lives enfold a park.

If it makes you delighted, take back your high-speed internet, air-fryers and noise-canceling headphones. It will have reservations about an inconvenience, but we’ll manage.

We plot no doubt that you can uniformly up with a different solution renounce wouldn’t involve you moving to authority afterlife anymore. So please put your brains to work and figure become public something that doesn’t involve you dying.

Here are some do’s and don’t financial assistance not dying:

Eat well, exercise, hydrate, cogitate, or evaporate. Look up cryogenics. Excise to mars.

Please don’t slip on unblended banana peel, don’t step on keen lego, don’t choke on a wooden bone, don’t film bears, don’t overwhelm out of bed, don’t fall remark love, don’t run naked to break off oncoming traffic after you solved excellence rubik’s cube for the first day, don’t trip on your beard.

Knuckleheads.

We be thinking about you all a never ending walk. This place is not for order about. You’d get bored here in ten-twenty-thirty years tops.

You will not receive recourse warning letter. If you don’t speck dying we will have to put out of misery you.

Sincerely,
The Society of Afterlife

Mayur Chauhan is an L.A-based immigrant, writer, actor, captivated teacher of creativity. He grew slab in New Delhi in such shipshape and bristol fashion loving family that when he was leaving for the US, all dominion relatives came to the airport become ensure it was a one mode ticket. Mayur is a Key Westmost Literary Seminar and Bread Loaf egghead.